Personal Issues, Should You Share Them At Work?

All of us have personal issues that we deal with on a daily basis, the question is do we need to share these with the people we work with?

This is an important decision to make, you need to weigh all of the factors and possible outcomes of sharing your personal life issues with those you work with before doing so.

At times it could be a good thing to share what you are going through personally so that your co-workers would be able to understand and support you better.  But then on the other handit all could back-fire on you if you shared something personal and either it was “shared” around or you were thought less of for bringing your problems up at work.

Sick children, family with terminal illnesses and going through a divorce would be pretty tough issues to keep from people who you are with more hours than you are with those at home.  You really do not have to keep it some of your life trials from your co-workers it is just how you handle yourself once you do tell it.

Remember even though we may be going through some pretty tough things at times we are at work to do a job that we have been hired to do and that is what our employers and co-workers expect of us.

Even when exciting happy events happen like weddings, babies or a new car, the same holds true, save the chit-chat for appropriate times and then keep it to a minimum.

The important key point before you do share something that is personal at work is to consider who you are sharing with and what, if any, repercussion may be at stake, always keeping in the front of your mind that your career is a valuable asset to you and you wouldn’t want to harm it in any way.

Personal Issues At Work

Avoiding Conflict, To Say Something Or Bite Your Tongue?

I know this has happened to you because it happens to me almost everyday, and that is having encounters with people (possibly coworkers or customers) who are stating their opinion or belief about something and you do not agree with at all.  In fact, sometimes we think to ourselves “They must be crazy to think this…come on”.

But the reality is that there are few people who think exactly the same way that you do, and maybe none.  So how do you handle these types of encounters without creating a conflict or worse yet an argument?

Remember no matter how wild, crazy or nuts-o you may think this person’s opinion is, it is their opinion and they should be respected for it.  Don’t you want to be respected for what you think and feel?

It always amazes me when I hear someone express their thoughts about something and the person that they are talking to, totally goes off on them just because they differ with their point of view.  What is that all about?  Don’t we all have freedom of speech?

Now I have to say that sometimes it is very hard to bite my tongue when someone says something against an important issue that I hold close to my heart, but bite it  I do, because 99.9% of the time it is not worth the challenge.

So what can you do?  How can you keep the boxing gloves off?  Well, you can agree to disagree, but in a way that they (the person who you do not agree with) doesn’t even know that you disagree.  Here are five things that you can do and say that will allow you to keep your cool and not upset the other person either.

1. Nod your head when they are speaking and lean into to them just a little and when they finish, say “wow I never thought of that before or I never saw it that way before”.  By shaking your head up and down, they think either your are in agreement with them or you think what they said is worthy of your positive thoughts.

2. Act a bit surprised and step back, nod your head saying “ I can see how you see that”.  The point being “them” you can see how they see it that way.

3. In a group setting and someone is talking you can just nod your head up and down and say “very interesting” or just “interesting”.  In the group setting it is much easier to do this.

4. A well placed thumb and forefinger on the chin and a slight nod stating “amazing, I will give that some thought, thanks for your input, opinion or idea”.  They are happy and you can either consider it, or not, but walk away in peace.

5. A delighted reaction (maybe hands up or a clap) stating “It is just so interesting that there are probably as many opinions on that topic as there are people.”  Then a little laugh and on to something else.

I think you probably get the point I am trying to get across, which is we do not have to agree at all, we can just disagree in an agreeable fashion most of the time.  No use getting into a battle when it can be avoided.

I have seen these techniques done and have done them myself time and again and it works beautifully.  We can let people speak their mind and not mind it at all, it is simple a process of mind over matter.  And the fact that most of the time, it is not worth the time to get into an argument.

Any other ideas on how to handle this type of situation?

The link below is to the blog Switched On, which had a post yesterday about how to avoid conflict, I felt it went right along with this post, so take a look.

The Secret to Avoiding Conflict

But Your Application Said…

I had the opportunity to speak to a young manager (in his 30’s) this week regarding some issues he was facing with hiring a new assistant manager for their cell phone company branch store. 

Although he was very involved in the interviewing process the upper management did have the final say in which candidate would be hired.

When he called me he told me that he had a total of four candidates, 3 of which were already working with the company.  Two were in other stores and one in his and one outside candidate.  The dilemma for him was that the candidate that seemed most suited for the position was the outside one and he needed to figure out how to tell the employees that had been working for the company for some time that they did not get the position. 

The candidate he was most concerned with was the one that worked with him.  This person had been with the company for several years and thought that they would get this job.  He was trying for figure out how to tell him he did not and still keep him as an “happy” employee.

We talked about the reasons that this person did not get the position and the best way to “word” this discussion letting the candidate know what he needed to do in the future to obtain this position and how to let him know the other candidate was more qualified.

He felt pretty good after our conversation, but still was not looking forward to letting his co-worker know that he did not get the position.  I asked that he keep me posted as to how things went down.

The next day he called and I asked how it went and he said that he did not have the conversation yet.  The chosen candidate was informed by the corporate office that she had been picked and that her being hired was contingent on her background and drug check.

He said that he was going to have the talk with his employee and he got a call from the chosen candidate. When he talked to her she said that since she now had been offered the job contingent on her back ground check she needed to let him know of some changes on her application.  She proceeded to tell him that she no longer was employed where she listed on her application and that she also just got another job that she was currently working. 

When he asked her why she didn’t tell them about these changes at the interview she simply stated that she didn’t feel that is was necessary unless she was offered a job.  She didn’t seem to think it was a big deal that she did not tell them at the interview of the changes, even when the interviewers asked her questions about her current job and she alluded to the fact that she was still employed at the place on her application, which she was not.

He thanked her for the information and proceeded to call corporate offices to talk to his supervisors.  When he told them what this candidate had done and that he was very concerned that he had been untruthful with them and now he had reservations about hiring her, his supervisor just told him that she was still the best candidate and that they were going to proceed with hiring her.

This manager was very upset because he thought if this person was willing to lie in an interview, then why would they think she would be honest once they hired her?  He could not believe that his company would just overlook this, error of unethical behavior.

He asked what I thought he should do because he didn’t want to get on the bad side of his supervisors, but he also wanted to let them know that he felt that hiring someone who was not honest from the beginning was not a good idea.

My advice was for him to think about the situation for a day or two and then write down exactly what he felt was wrong and why.  Then send the letter to his supervisor asking for a time that they could possibly discuss what the companies views were and why and also his own.

Although I sided with this young manager, I knew that he probably would not win in this situation and hopefully if they hire this woman, that he will be proved right in the end or very possibly that she just made a foolish mistake and that she really is a great person and will make a wonderful assistant to him.

What advice would you have given?

Getting To Work On Time

For some people getting to work on time is a struggle.  There are many reasons for this and only the person who has a hard time knows their personal battle with tardiness.  

Being chronically late whether it is 3-5 minutes or possibly 10, has a negative reaction not only on your supervisor and/or boss, but your co-workers who arrive on time everyday (your being chronically late probably upsets your co-workers more than you realize). 

Who would you give the gold metal to for attendance the person who arrives 5-10 minutes early to make sure they are ready to start when the doors open or the person who is running in the back door when the bell rings or a few minutes after? 

You may not think being a couple of minutes late makes a big difference but it does, not only to those you work for and with, but also to you.  How?  Getting to work a little early allows you time to prepare for the day, by giving you those extra few minutes to mentally prepare for whatever will be coming your way. 

Where by running in the back door as the clock strikes 8, you are not prepared to begin your job at 8, you are sliding in as work has already begun.  

Preparing for work the night before can help you get this head start.  Many people set their alarm clock ahead 15-30 minutes to make sure they have plenty of time to get up and get ready and out the door in plenty of time to arrive to work a few minutes early.  It also will help to set a goal time that you need to be on the road. 

By leaving a bit early you feel much better, it gives you time to think, enjoy your ride to work and not be rushed. Being rushed is no way to start your day and it is stressful. 

By arriving a bit early and being ready to begin your work on time it shows your employer/supervisor that your job matters to you and you want to do your best.  Remember it is the early bird that catches the worm!

For more tips on getting to work on time see the link below.

Tips From Career Advice

Dealing With Fear In The Workplace

When you hear the words “workplace fears” the first thing usually to pop into your mind is that there is something happening at work that is causing fear in the employees.

There is also the issue that certain employees have fears that they bring into the workplace that have nothing to do with what actually is taking place at work.

Both types of fear are very important and need to be addressed as fear restricts the ability for people to be able to think well, which affects their productivity.

Today I want to talk about the second type of fear, which can be very difficult for management to understand and to work through, but this is what practical practice management, is all about.

A young woman was hired as a receptionist for a small business and overtime the office manager realized that this employee would only come to her for any questions she had. This was okay for the most part, but there were many times that this employee would work closely with the business owner, but when she had a question about something she would continue to go to the office manager. The office manager would then have to go to the boss and ask the question to get the answer for the employee.

After this went on for a while the office manager explained to this employee that she needed to go directly to the boss for questions that pertained to what he wanted her to do. The manager was very surprised when this employee told her that she was afraid to ask her boss questions directly.

After a long and informative conversation with this employee the manager was able to find out that this young woman had been abused by her father and had a genuine fear of men.

With the willingness of all parties, the employee, office manager and business owner were able to sit down and work through ways that made it easier for this employee to approach her boss that worked for all of them. The employee was very grateful that her employer and manager cared enough to understand and were willing to work things out.

It is vital for management staff to be open and understanding of people’s fears and how they can affect the workplace. The situation above is true and the extra effort that this team put in to making their workplace relationships better was well worth it. Understanding one another is a key factor to making a successful business.

Employee Morale, Do You Lift It or Drag It Down?

As a business owner, supervisor or manager you have the opportunity to set the tone each day for your employees/co-workers.  If you don’t know it, they are looking to you to do so.

With continued surveys showing that employee morale is on a steady downward spiral we need to take a good look at what might be causing this and try to make sure we are trying to prevent it from happening in our place of employment.

Poor employee morale can be caused by a number of things, but there are a few things that rate high on the list.  One of the top causes is when employers or management staff are more concerned about themselves and how they are doing than they are the welfare of the employees.

It is very difficult to work in a situation where you are on the bottom of the totem pole always having to look up at others.  Day in and out working in this type of unappreciative environment where everything is about and directed to superiors will naturally cause employees to lose interest in their job and start to look elsewhere for employment.

Another big downer for employees is when employers or management are not accountable for their actions and are always passing the buck to someone else.  After awhile working for someone who is like this you cannot help but lose respect for them and eventually develop a non-caring attitude about them and the job.

Next up running neck-to-neck with this last issue would be the issue of not sharing information with employees about business issues or practices that effect their job position. Such as not giving them information or enough training on how to use software properly so that they look dumb and inept. Making them to always have to go to management for help instead of training them to be independent workers.  It is a terrible situation for an employee when a manger keeps them tied to their apron string just to make themselves look important and needed.

The last downer issue we will look at is the one of employers or managers who send mixed messages to the employees.  Let me give you an example; employer or manager states that the policy for returned items is 14 days and then when someone comes in to return something that is has been 2 months they say it is okay to let them do it, and this is a repeated problem about multiple things.

The employee start to wonder what are the policies or are there any real policies, they never know because things are always changing on a whim.  Working in this type of environment makes people feel out of control because there are no set in concrete standards or rules, which leads to confusion and disillusion.

Whether you are the business owner or a manager you do have a responsibility for the people you manage, make sure you are not leading them on that downward spiral because it will be pretty lonely at the bottom for you.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” –Zig Ziglar

Do You Realize How You Effect Your Co-workers Work?

As with any team, what one player does on their own, effects the rest of the team in one way or another.  I had a reminder of this today when I went to the post office to run an errand for the office.

I was on my lunch hour and of course the post office did have a bit of a line (I expected this as a lot of people try to take care business during their lunch hour).

There were only two windows open, which always amazes me that banks and post offices run on a skeleton crew during their most demanding hours by customers, go figure.

I was next in line when the gentleman ahead of me at one window decided to pay the clerk in dollars and cents that he had in a bag.  As he was counting out each dime, the seconds just kept ticking off.  I thought I would have a chance at the next window, but as a woman was finishing up her transaction another woman came through the door and stood right next to her at the window.

I thought maybe these two women were together, but I was wrong.  This woman stepped in front of the rest of the line to ask the clerk if he had a “hand cart” that she could borrow to get some heavy packages from her car to the post office.  Of course being a nice postal employee he stepped away from his busy counter and went in the back to find the hand cart.  You could hear the sigh from the people in line.

Now back to the window that I was hoping to be next at; the gentleman who paid in change was about done and the clerk handed him his receipt.  One would think he would step aside, but no….he got out his wallet and proceeded to pull out other receipts and papers from it, attempting to organize his paperwork while still standing right in front of the clerk.

The clerk looked at me apologetically, but she did not want to tell the elderly man to move aside.  Oh, and the other clerk still had not come back from getting the hand cart and by now there were over 15 people in line. Did this clerk really think that this woman shouldn’t wait in line like the rest of us?

I quietly let out my breath and thought to myself, oh well, I can either leave or wait this one out so that I could take care of my transaction and get back to work.  I could feel the tension in the line of people waiting, some were groaning, and making loud sighs, others were tapping their feet.

We each had our own decision to make, wait it out, or leave.  I wondered did these three people realize what effect that their actions had on the rest of the people waiting in line?  I really do not think so.   I decided to wait it out and before long I moved up to the counter made my transaction and was on my way to work.

This experience did get me thinking, like usual.  Do we realize how our decisions and actions really effect others that we work with?  When we are late getting something done, are we thinking about the problems it may cause our supervisor, boss or customer?  If we are expected to do a job and we only half finish it, do we realize how this effects others that are depending on us?

The more I thought about the affect of what we do and how it effects others I couldn’t help but see the domino effect and the importance that employees need to see the bigger picture in order to understand how the part that they play each day actually plays into the big picture.

Well I know what my office meeting will be about this week.  My whole staff, including myself need to take a good look at this domino effect and see how we can improve on not making a negative effect on each other and learn how have a more positive effect on those we work with.

Have you thought about how you effect on those you work with?

What is the domino effect?

Earn Respect During Times Of Conflict

“Respect cannot be bought or learned, it must be earned”

We all know that people are as different as, well, bananas and oranges.  In the workplace more likely than not you are going to be working with many different types of fruit, or personality types. 

It would be great if we always could work with people who our personalities blended well with, but as we have all experienced this is not always the case. 

If you are working with someone who is difficult for you to get along with you need to be very careful in how you handle the situation as it may backfire on you. 

Before you make any complaints you need examine yourself to make sure that it is not you that is causing the "rub" between the two of you.  All to often when people have a co-worker that is difficult to work with they start to complain to their superiors about them, looking, and hoping, that they will resolve the problem for them. . 

If that doesn’t work then they start to complain to other co-workers about them hoping to gain support, hoping possibly that the supervisor would then do something.  What we need to realize is if we are complaining all of the time about this difficult co-worker, that we may begin to look like the "difficult co-worker",  that is unable to get along with others and this could damage your career.

If you are having problems with difficult co-workers and you have tried to work it out with them, and have examined yourself and you know it is not you, then go to your superiors and let them know of the situation.  Tell them what you have done to try to resolve the problem and ask them for insight and help. 

Do not go to them complaining.  Ask for advice on how you might be able to handle the situation better.  This is a more professional approach, one that your superiors can respect you for.  You are eliciting help with the situation, not complaining about it. 

Work relationships are not always easy, but you don’t want to hurt your career by not being able to handle them professionally.  Don’t allow a “people problem” to taint your work reputation and potentially be the cause of others losing respect for you by the way you poorly handled the situation.

Others are looking at you and the way that you handle problems with coworkers, gain their respect, don’t lose it.

 

Related article on handling conflict respectfully

Do You Need A Change At Work?

Every now and then we need to take a step back and examine how our business is doing. Are the employees as productive as they should be?  Are our customers as happy and satisfied as they should be?  Are we making the money we should be?  Is there something that we could be doing that we are not that would improve our jobs, our work environment, our business as a whole?

This year the jcpenney corporation did just that. They decided to revamped their stores and the way that they do business with their customers.  In February of this year they launched their new business image and sent out the following statement in their new advertisement with the Sunday paper, here is what it said;

“In praise of fresh air.

This year, we turn 110.  We’re fine with growing old. We’re not find with growing stale.  So, to celebrate, we’re going to throw open the window and let in some fresh air.

We’re rethinking and reimagining, and if we find that we’ve picked up any bad habits over the decades, we’re going to leave them far behind.

We’re simply going to treat people as we’d like to be treated ourselves.  Fair and square.

We won’t make anyone jump through hoops to get a good price.  We won’t fill mailboxes with junk.  We’ll have great prices every day and spectacular prices that last a whole month.  And it won’t stop there.

We’ll keep dreaming up new ways to make you love shopping again, matching our calendar to the rhythm of your life.

Because we’re not interested in being the biggest store or the flashiest store.

We want to be your favorite store.”

Since I have a local jcpenney near by, I decided to go see their new image.  The store looks great, a clean new makeover. I felt good being in the store and I noticed that others around me were making comments about the store and enjoying the new shopping experience.  As I checked out I asked the clerks what they thought about the new image.  They all responded that they loved the look and that it was so nice to come to work now.  They were excited over the change and it showed in the service they gave.

This really got me thinking about how long it had been since we had done any fixing up in our office, it had been way too long.  So over the past few weeks we did a total revamp of flooring, wall covering, paint, and counter tops.  It has been crazy and a lot of work, but we are so excited when patients come in and love the new look.  It makes us excited and there is a newness in how we feel about coming to work each day now.

This change has made us look at other aspects of the practice that may need to be revamped.  We started making a list of possible changes that may benefit our business and are looking forward to tackling them once we finish this one.

“Do you need to open the windows of your business and let in some fresh air?”

Handling The Wolf Pack At Work

This morning as I stepped out the back door of our medical complex I was taken by surprise as I overheard a group of women talking.  Well actually I couldn’t help but over hear them because they were very loud, in fact, at first I thought that two of them were fighting.

I recognized these women, they worked for a large medical foundation, their billing and collections office is in our complex and there are about 80 employees that work in that department. They like to walk the complex during their break times.

As I listened the subject of their anger was not anyone in the group, but they were upset at what a supervisor had said to one of the women in the group.  One woman, loudly stated “well you told us what she said to you and that is just wrong, and you need to stand up to her and let her know that she cannot treat you that way.”  The others all chimed in agreeing, putting their two cents in, and letting this woman know what they thought.  ‘

They were pumping this woman up, to go head-to-head with her supervisor when she returned from this break, and she did not seem to anxious to follow through.

I couldn’t help but to wonder how did all of these co-workers find out about this woman’s encounter with her supervisor?  Either the supervisor was very loud and could be heard from several cubicles away.  Or maybe this woman, confided the problem with a not so trustworthy co-worker who felt that she should share it with others, then again, maybe this woman shared the problem with too many co-workers herself.

However it happened, it did not seem to be turning out very well and there was a fire started here in the parking lot that I doubt would be put out too soon.

I started thinking about the supervisor that they were talking about and wondered “did she know what was going on?  did she realized that 9 of her staff members where trying to get a lynching party going in the parking lot?”

Eventually, this group of women broke up into a few smaller groups and paced themselves as they headed back to the office so they would not all walk in the door at the same time and I would never know what happened.  Boy, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall so I could find out.

If I would have had a chance to talk to woman, this is what advice I would have given her;

1. If you have a problem with your supervisor, go to your supervisor and ask to discuss it privately.

2. Be the professional that you are, do not lower yourself by acting childish.

3. Be prepared, have notes about the situation that you want to talk about and what you think about it.  In stressful situations we tend to forget details that we want to discuss.

4. Stick to the issue at hand, do not take any “rabbit trails” it will only make things confusing and you may hang yourself by saying something unintended.

5. Be willing to listen to the other side and think about what they have to say before you speak.  If you need time, ask to continue the discussion at a later time when you have thought about what they have told you.

6. Oh, did I say be the professional that you are?

What advice would you give?