It’s Their Fault….The Blame Game

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“Don’t find fault, find remedy.” ~ Henry Ford

Have you ever worked with a blamer?  Or maybe you live with one.  This type of personality is very difficult to deal with, because they truly believe that someone else is always to blame.

I recently had the “opportunity” to work with a blamer.  I say “opportunity” because it was a challenge and I really wanted to learn how to handle this personality issue better.  It was pretty amazing to witness as they brought up each problem that they wanted fixed in their business, they had a person to blame for the issue.

I could see that many of the problems were actually due to the way this business owner ran his business, but I would never be able to get them to see that.

I researched each issue and wrote protocols on how the situations needed to be handled in order for problems to not occur.  When I presented them to the owner, he liked them, but said “I am sure that the staff will mess things up even with these guidelines in place.” I just mentally shook my head.

Being around a blamer is toxic.  They blame because it gives them a false sense of assurance, and they never will take a look at themselves as contributing to any problem. I don’t think that I could work with a blamer type personality unless our encounters were very few.

I understand that people with this personality issue deserve compassion. The hard part is not allowing their toxic, blaming behavior to stick on us when we do encounter them.   We need to be able to continue to be positive even though it does not help them, it will help us.

I really like the quote above from Henry Ford, the remedy when dealing with blamers is to remain positive.

Dealing with blamers

1/30/17

14 thoughts on “It’s Their Fault….The Blame Game

  1. My Mother is one of these personality types. I used to live in a constant state of defense…as a result I still struggle to relax my defensiveness. (But am much better since putting some distance between myself and those who blame consistently) A principle to practice, which backs up your theory also, is to remain in the same emotional state as before you heard their accusations. For example, if you were happy content and at peace before they tried to blame you, then stay there. By not getting into a debate with them on their ground you defuse their power to pass their blame onto you. Great post. Blessings to you!

  2. My recent boss was a “blamer.” Everything wrong with the business (which was going downhill) was the fault of a vendor, and sometimes certain employees. Never once did he look at his own terrible decisions and the way he wasted money on his whims.

    • Hi Missdisplaced

      You are not the first person who has worked with a blamer as you know. When you catch wind that either the manager or business owner is like this… it is time to get out. These types of people rarely change and are more than toxic. I hope the future is bright for you! Thanks for your comment.

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