Creating Peace When You Disagree

a pen is filling out a "agree box"

It can be difficult when you work closely with someone who has an opinions or beliefs that you totally disagree with. The reality is that there are no two people who think alike and have beliefs exactly the same.

When you come across situations like this there are ways to handle them without it causing you to become upset or create conflict with the other person.

We must remember no matter how wild, crazy or absurd we may think this person’s opinion or belief is, it is theirs and they should be shown respect.  Every person wants respect shown to them regarding their opinions and beliefs.

It always amazes me when I hear someone express their thoughts or beliefs about something and the person that they are talking to will totally lose control and will tell them why they are wrong just because they differ with their point of view.

Now, I have to say that sometimes it is very hard to bite my tongue when someone says something against an important issue that I hold close to my heart, but bite it I do, because 99.9% of the time it is just not worth the discussion as it will go no where.

We can agree to disagree in a way that the person who we do not agree with does not even know that we disagree with them.

Here are five things that you can do and say that will allow you to keep your cool and not upset the other person when you do not agree with what they are stating.

  1. Nod your head when they are speaking and lean into to them just a little and when they finish, say “Wow I never thought of that before or I never saw it that way before.”  They think either you are in agreement with them or you think what they said is worthy of your positive comment.
  2. Act a bit surprised and step back, nod your head and say, “ I can see howyousee that”.  The point being “they,” you can see how they see it that way.
  3. In a group setting you can nod your head and say, “Very interesting, or nothing at all.” 
  4. A well placed thumb and forefinger on the chin and a slight nod stating, “Amazing, I will give that some thought, thanks for your input, opinion or idea”.  They are happy and you can either consider it, or not, but walk away in peace.
  5. A delighted reaction (maybe hands up or a clap) stating “It is just so interesting that there are probably as many opinions on that topic as there are people.”  Then a little laugh and on to something else.

I think you probably get the point I am trying to get across, which is we do not have to agree at all, we can just disagree in an agreeable fashion most of the time.  No use getting into a battle when it can be avoided.

I have seen these techniques done and have used them myself time and again and they work beautifully.  We can let people speak their mind and not mind it at all; it is process of learning to live in peace with one another.



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